Internet Dictator

Go complete a previous decree and write about it for crying out loud!

None of this lame “elastic on the sink sprayer” or “loosening the salt shaker” buffoonery. Plan a Proper April Fools’ Day prank.

There’s a prize for the best compliance report, so use a valid email address when you post.

(Yes, the prize is real. It’s not an April Fools’ joke. That would be lame buffoonery. So spread the word.)

Write (and mail) a physical letter to someone.

Go outside and walk someplace new.

Eat pizza within 24 hours of reading this decree.

Attempt to convince a coworker, friend, or roommate of something you don’t believe (even if it’s trivial).

Cede control of your island nation to your brother.

Just kidding.

Go buy yourself a chocolate bar.

Find the oddest sticker you can and put it somewhere it doesn’t belong.

Sell something you own for less than it is worth. Remember to report your compliance here.

(FYI: The Dictator did not post yesterday in honor of Valentine’s Day. The Dictator has a soft spot for chocolate hearts. Do not mistake this as a sign of weakness.)

Take a coffee to someone (a friend, a coworker, or even random stranger).